


Let's Talk About Sext

by dugindeep (hotsauce)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, boys being beautiful idiots, misuse of emojis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26867743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotsauce/pseuds/dugindeep
Summary: Let's talk about all the good emojis and the bad emojis that may be ...
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 53
Kudos: 132
Collections: Where Every Birthday is Bangin'





	Let's Talk About Sext

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cherie_morte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherie_morte/gifts).



> Notes: Written for the bestest cuch ever [Cherie_Morte](https://cherie-morte.livejournal.com/) in honor of your 30th birthday!! Love you to the spoon and back ... see what I did there??? Remember the other day we joked over the [new emojis](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/dugindeep/21318485/150798/150798_original.jpg)? So here's Jared abusing as many as possible and Jensen being thoroughly confused. 
> 
> This is written entirely in text form and features lovely art from the bestest Chicago gal I know - [Cassiopeia7](https://cassiopeia7.livejournal.com/). Go give her art some love [HERE!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26868388)

**Jared**  
I you a ?

**Jensen**  
You what??

**Jared**  
I you a ?  
Get it? LOLOLOLOL

**Jensen**  
No. I don’t get it

**Jared**  
  
= moustache!  
I moustache you a ?

**Jensen**  
Okay. Moustache me a question.

**Jared**  
No that’s now how it works  
How do you not know how this works????  
It’s good you're so cute

_26 minutes pass._

_Jared does not count._

_But._

_He does panic._

**Jared**  
Am I -ing you

**Jensen**  
Flying me?

**Jared**  
Oh fat thumbs  
I mean 

**Jensen**  
Bug?

**Jared**  
Yeah lol  
Am I -ing you?  
Or you working again?

**Jensen**  
No I’m done for the night. Mom called…trouble with her iPad so it took some time.  
What’s up? What’s the bug for?

**Jared**  
Wondering if you’re into 

**Jensen**  
Am I…Is that a threesome?

**Jared**  
No!!!!  
It’s an elevator 

**Jensen**  
Wait…why would I be into elevators?  
I think I’d rather it was a threesome.

**Jared**  
You beautiful idiot

**Jensen**  
Why am *I* the idiot? You’re the one asking about elevators.

**Jared**  
At least I said you’re beautiful?

**Jensen**  
Whatever…what’s up with the elevator?

**Jared**  
You ok with elevators or are you claustrophobic? Or afraid of heights or not into tall buildings or just not at all entertained by seeing big cities from way up high???  
Not super important anyway  
You can ignore me  
*fart noises*

**Jensen**  
Yeah I guess so? What were you thinking?

**Jared**  
Sears Tower for Saturday or is that lame?  
It’s laaaaaame

**Jensen**  
Not lame…haven’t been in ages. Sounds cool. 

**Jared**  
And dinner after …… my treat.  
I know a good place

**Jensen**  
Hey if you’re treating…not going to complain.

**Jared**  
It’ll be 

**Jensen**  
Is that…a fist?

**Jared**  
Lololololol you think I wanna fist you at the restaurant???

**Jensen**  
What else am I supposed to think with that symbol??

**Jared**  


**Jensen**  
Shut up.

**Jared**  
I mean I really would love to do that but ………  
We’d probably get kicked out!!!!!  
Maybe we should try anyway  


**Jensen**  
Siiiiiiigh.  
What did that emoji mean anyway??

**Jared**  
LOL it’s a chef’s kiss …. Like:  


**Jensen**  
Alright. If you insist.

**Jared**  
I totally insist.  
Tho I know you like to eat healthy so maybe we’ll get you some beforehand

**Jensen**  
You’re gonna get me blue balls beforehand??

**Jared**  
No! I meant fruit! Like a snack!  
  
You really thirsty lately eh?

**Jensen**  
WTFFFFF

**Jared**  
What?

**Jensen**  
WTF are these emojis now????? Beaver and wood?? And you say I’m thirsty????

**Jared**  
Like damn  


**Jensen**  
IT STILL DOESN’T MAKE SENSE

**Jared**  
Gosh do I have to explain everything to you?

**Jensen**  
It’s amazing you’re a teacher…that you mold the future of our world.

**Jared**  
= BEAVER  
= DAM  
Like a beaver and his dam  
So dammmmmmmmmmmn

**Jensen**  
Now I think YOU’RE the beautiful idiot here.

**Jared**  
  
You think I’m beautiful  


**Jensen**  
Yeah yeah yeah…Where are you getting all these emojis anyway?

**Jared**  
It’s in the new iOS.  
Or you too to update?

**Jensen**  
Am I too Santa???

**Jared**  
It’s like a grandpa.  
You====grandpa

**Jensen**  
Jared

**Jared**  
That’s my name  
Don’t wear it out 

**Jensen**  
It’s a man.  
With glasses.  
And a Santa hat.  
IT’S SANTA

**Jared**  


**Jensen**  
Oh boy. Here we go.

**Jared**  
was the closest thing to old.

**Jensen**  
What about 

**Jared**  
I’m trying to expand my horizons????  
And you think you can beat my emoji game????  
But also holy ! You just used an emoji!

**Jensen**  
Holy rock?

**Jared**  
No not a rock.  
It’s shit.

**Jensen**  
That is not shit.

**Jared**  
It kinda looks like shit.

**Jensen**  
If your shit is that color then you’ve got problems.

**Jared**  
Shut up you know what I meant.

**Jensen**  
You should see a doctor.

**Jared**  
Shut up 

**Jensen**  
Medical help is critical here.

**Jared**  
Shuuuuuuuuuuuut

**Jensen**  
If you won’t help yourself...I’ll have to come over there myself and take care of the problem.

**Jared**  
Uuuuuuuupppppppppp

**Jensen**  
But not literally. Because shit is just too damn personal for anyone.

**Jared**  
to you

**Jensen**  
Accordion to anyone ;)

**Jared**  
You finally figured one out all on your own!

**Jensen**  


**Jared**  
OH GOSH  
YOU USED YODA  
  
you

_9 minutes and 37 seconds pass._

_Jared definitely counts._

_And he definitely panics._

_Again._

**Jensen**  
Olive me?

**Jared**  
… yeah?  
Is that okay?  
It’s not okay is it?  
I said it too soon  
Okay I’m gonna go drown myself in the tub

**Jensen**  
OH!!!!!!!!!

**Jared**  
And then maybe drop a toaster in with me

**Jensen**  
No no no no I get it now.  
I had to say it out loud.

**Jared**  
No it’s fine  
Forget it

**Jensen**  
It’s totally okay…Just maybe not easy to say in texts??

**Jared**  
Yeah totally. Makes sense. Forget that emoji forever.

**Jensen**  
Well…I guess…

**Jared**  
Just pretend I’m not here anymore  
I’m a . You can’t see me.  
I was never here.

**Jensen**  
I can’t see you anyway because you’re not here. But you could come over…say it in person…

_5 minutes pass._

_Jared pumps his fists and dances around his living room._

_Then takes a very deep breath and is super totally cool about everything._

**Jared**  
Maybe we can 

**Jensen**  
You want to…film it?

**Jared**  
Noooooooo ……  
I meant a movie  
We could watch a movie  
If it’s not too late?

**Jensen**  
Oh. Yeah. Of course we can. Not too late.

**Jared**  
And maybe after the we can 

**Jensen**  
Yeah we can hug  


**Jared**  
Ohhhhh you got the new emojis lololol  
It's not a hug. It's sexy stuff.

**Jensen**  
  


**Jared**  
I’m not even that annoyed you’re mocking me.

**Jensen**  
Yeah right.  
Just be glad I finally updated emojis for you.

**Jared**  
Totally solid life choices you’re making here. 

**Jensen**  
I thought so.

**Jared**  
I approve.

**Jensen**  
Good to know.  
Anyway...so and some ...

**Jared**  
And maybe after the and then ... we can 

**Jensen**  


**Jared**  
What is that?

**Jensen**  
It’s my seal of approval! DUH!

**Jared**  
God   
you.

**Jensen**  


**Jared**  
That’s a pretty graphic heart right there.

**Jensen**  
Too much?

**Jared**  
No it’s 

**Jensen**  
Thought I’d finally take the 

**Jared**  
You thought you’d take the plunger? Should I check my bathroom …

**Jensen**  
Well … the plunge(r) okay???

**Jared**  


**Jensen**  
You’re bringing fondue?

**Jared**  
No I meant that you’re so cheesy.  
Sometimes  
When you let yourself be

**Jensen**  
The longer we text the longer we wait for ...

**Jared**  
right  
I’m getting ready as I type  
Can’t wait to 

**Jensen**  
Don’t forget to bring 

**Jared**  
Don’t forget my hats?

**Jensen**  
GOD

**Jared**  
You rang?

**Jensen**  
PROTECTION.  
Those are for your 

**Jared**  
Ahhhhhhh  
Hahhhhhhhhh  
Yeah  
Gotcha

**Jensen**  
But again…the more we text about it, the less we’re doing it  
...

**Jared**  
Alrighty heading to the . Gonna get some (yes that many) and I’m gonna your and my in your   
……too much?

**Jensen**  
Like to my ears

**Jared**  
A wand to your ears?

**Jensen**  
  
MAGIC. IT’S MAGIC TO MY EARS.

**Jared**  
Is that a thing???  
Isn’t the saying “music to my ears”???

**Jensen**  
God you’re a 

**Jared**  
I’m a pie????

**Jensen**  
I thought it was a pita...it looks like a pita!

**Jared**  
So I’m a pita????

**Jensen**  
  
Yeah a Pain In The Ass = P I T A

**Jared**  
I’m definitely gonna make your ass feel pain

**Jensen**  


**Jared**  
U want blueberries too?

**Jensen**  
  
No but I’ll have blue balls if you don’t get here soon.

**Jared**  


**Jensen**  


* * *

ART BY CASSIOPEIA7  
Go give her art some love [HERE!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26868388)  



End file.
